"A haven from stigma and discrimination"

The Star (http://www.thestar.com.my/) (20/05/07)

HER head of short hair is slightly dishevelled and Masliza (not her real name) sits hunched over the table. There is an air of defeat about her but when she speaks, her frustration at being infected by HIV is clear.But so is her resolve to survive it.More than a year after being diagnosed with HIV, she has sought refuge at a shelter in Kuala Lumpur hoping to get herself back on her feet.The shelter houses women and children who are either infected or affected by the virus.Masliza quit her job after constantly falling sick and her weight dropped from more than 65kg to less than 50kg.

When she was diagnosed with HIV, she was put on medication immediately.“I lost everything. And now, look at me. I am living in a home.”Her anger and bitterness stem from the fact that she was infected by her fiancée whom she was supposed to marry after a six-year relationship.“He looked healthy. And he was cute. I never flirted around and I was so honest with him,” said Masliza, who broke off the engagement.With no parents to go back to since both are dead, Masliza went to live with her brother. It was he who suggested that she go to the shelter to “recover”.“I was depressed and cried all the time. It was a new environment for me,” she admitted.“But then I see the children and I tell myself that they are to be pitied more than me. They are victims of circumstance.”The skinny but feisty woman said she would move out of the shelter when the time comes and she hopes to get married as well. She also visits her brother occasionally.“When I get married, I will move out. And yes, I have already found someone,” she said with a ghost of a smile.“I want to go back but I am worried about the stigma. I have lost contact with people I know. They do not know, and there are times when even I would reject myself.”Masliza said she liked living at the shelter because it had a “family concept”.

Nadia (not her real name), 26, who has lived at the shelter for about a year, said she felt more accepted here than at her own home.“Best duduk kat sini (it is nice to stay here). People can accept me more than those back at the kampung. They understand how I feel and I get to play with the kids here.”She, too, has thought of going home but changed her mind after a recent telephone conversation with her mother.“I wanted to ask my dad but he was not around. And my mother did not let me come home,” she said.Nadia was diagnosed three years ago, and probably contracted the virus from her husband who has since passed away.She has a three-year-old child who lives with her family. She had twins out of wedlock recently but one died a month later.“The remaining twin is okay,” she said.Having survived so much misfortune in her life, Nadia provides a shoulder to cry on for the women in the shelter who are faced with the same challenges she has undergone.“Now I want to get a job because of my children,” she said.

Scared of the discrimination she knows she will face in society, Aina (not her real name) has opted to live in the shelter for the past five years.Her parents-in-law, she said, did not want anything to do with her and her husband has disappeared.“I am more comfortable living here,” she said simply.The 30-year-old mother of four (all have tested negative for HIV) helps counsel women who are new at the shelter and also gives talks when the occasion arises.Religious classes held at the shelter have helped her along the way, she said. — By AUDREY EDWARDS